Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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