If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
