They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
