ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.