Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My vagina just recognized that song.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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