Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
