The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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