I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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