Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
