I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
