At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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