I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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