There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
