There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
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I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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