coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
