We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
