she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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