everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
this boner is exhausting
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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