From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
