There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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