quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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