Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.