Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.

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  (717): Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag. http://tfl.nu/8k5h
  Replies (41) Good night (3448) Bad night (3239)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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  (610): doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better. http://tfl.nu/6sgi
  Replies (70) Good night (4048) Bad night (740)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.

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  (515): I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans. http://tfl.nu/jn9s
  Replies (128) Good night (637) Bad night (4038)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow. You named your rash.

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  (703): the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch. (717): Wow. You named your rash. http://tfl.nu/cxl6
  Replies (22) Good night (924) Bad night (4097)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.

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  (920): My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed. http://tfl.nu/bpdu
  Replies (17) Good night (1393) Bad night (5200)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So... What happend then?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.

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  (404): She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating" (678): So... What happend then? (404): We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM. http://tfl.nu/3t62
  Replies (49) Good night (11508) Bad night (2782)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."

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  (907): She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in." http://tfl.nu/4iy3
  Replies (24) Good night (5253) Bad night (1197)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?

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  (862): I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this? http://tfl.nu/11gl
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (4098)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

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  (678): Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand http://tfl.nu/u3cn
  Replies (5) Good night (966) Bad night (2449)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..

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  (779): We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time.. http://tfl.nu/hdfa
  Replies (2) Good night (2328) Bad night (1006)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

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  (780): Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses http://tfl.nu/pn1w
  Replies (24) Good night (2167) Bad night (761)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.

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  (810): Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be. http://tfl.nu/ssx0
  Replies (5) Good night (2310) Bad night (755)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.

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  (920): You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands. http://tfl.nu/ucsy
  Replies (9) Good night (426) Bad night (1114)
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  (530): View more from California

  Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me

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  (530): Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me http://tfl.nu/1ycp
  Replies (4) Good night (408) Bad night (735)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.

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  (423): In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like. http://tfl.nu/eb14
  Replies (9) Good night (821) Bad night (444)

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