Texts From Last Night

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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.

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  (712): I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well. http://tfl.nu/yae3
  Replies (2) Good night (2121) Bad night (782)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.

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  (904): I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything. http://tfl.nu/zym5
  Replies (71) Good night (724) Bad night (2846)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i should start naming my morning wood

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  great idea but wrong number

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  (910): i should start naming my morning wood (201): great idea but wrong number http://tfl.nu/1p5a
  Replies (24) Good night (8268) Bad night (1111)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children

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  (504): how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children http://tfl.nu/hk2n
  Replies (11) Good night (2442) Bad night (4181)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.

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  (609): Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night. http://tfl.nu/lzo0
  Replies (21) Good night (5526) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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  (508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz
  Replies (24) Good night (1410) Bad night (3858)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex

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  (202): the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex http://tfl.nu/fw26
  Replies (12) Good night (5268) Bad night (982)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?

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  (605): just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl? http://tfl.nu/v0ft
  Replies (10) Good night (5145) Bad night (824)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.

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  (815): im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again. http://tfl.nu/iwek
  Replies (31) Good night (4332) Bad night (1182)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things

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  (519): My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things http://tfl.nu/16j6
  Replies (11) Good night (1168) Bad night (2635)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.

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  (859): That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka. http://tfl.nu/6iko
  Replies (1) Good night (1501) Bad night (510)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way

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  (407): Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way http://tfl.nu/o4pg
  Replies (19) Good night (2253) Bad night (565)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.

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  (701): Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client. http://tfl.nu/dueq
  Replies (6) Good night (1658) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.

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  (508): Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about. http://tfl.nu/fvng
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes

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  (563): I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes http://tfl.nu/k4tx
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (209)

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