Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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