If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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