Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
