I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
