Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym