Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I accidentally had phone sex last night

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  (651): I accidentally had phone sex last night http://tfl.nu/0rrd
  Replies (6) Good night (1593) Bad night (566)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  addddeeerrraaaallll.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.

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  (319): addddeeerrraaaallll. (641): ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/xlcd
  Replies (14) Good night (1607) Bad night (613)
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  (408): View more from California

  Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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  (408): Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand http://tfl.nu/h440
  Replies (31) Good night (4900) Bad night (665)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick

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  (401): he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick http://tfl.nu/778x
  Replies (69) Good night (14656) Bad night (3905)
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  (626): View more from California

  I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"

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  (626): I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text" http://tfl.nu/ij6d
  Replies (9) Good night (1684) Bad night (4529)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.

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  (803): Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing. http://tfl.nu/46mh
  Replies (6) Good night (830) Bad night (2942)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.

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  (469): The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig. http://tfl.nu/4p0a
  Replies (9) Good night (4430) Bad night (1291)
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  (323): View more from California

  When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.

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  (323): When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection. http://tfl.nu/ukok
  Replies (12) Good night (1631) Bad night (3255)
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  (424): View more from California

  Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

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  (424): Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus. http://tfl.nu/3sel
  Replies (10) Good night (2109) Bad night (829)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke

  (647): View more from Ontario

  She kept going

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  (647): She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke (647): She kept going http://tfl.nu/fte0
  Replies (2) Good night (1230) Bad night (425)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina

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  (260): And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina http://tfl.nu/ymsd
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (959)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night

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  (847): She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night http://tfl.nu/5dv7
  Replies (8) Good night (1503) Bad night (522)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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  (804): Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fa11
  Replies (2) Good night (1273) Bad night (413)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.

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  (413): Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days. http://tfl.nu/0sic
  Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (597)
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  (721): View more from

  I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix

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  (721): I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix http://tfl.nu/vrhy
  Replies (5) Good night (701) Bad night (361)

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