I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
