you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
