Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator

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  (512): you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator http://tfl.nu/ic52
  Replies (17) Good night (7833) Bad night (745)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?

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  (360): on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you? http://tfl.nu/kgxf
  Replies (50) Good night (1711) Bad night (9739)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

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  (901): Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore. http://tfl.nu/ntw9
  Replies (55) Good night (5640) Bad night (1483)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.

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  (720): I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group. http://tfl.nu/a06b
  Replies (7) Good night (5636) Bad night (905)
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  (607): View more from New York

  We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.

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  (607): We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre. http://tfl.nu/5g13
  Replies (10) Good night (3084) Bad night (1152)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.

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  (303): She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub. http://tfl.nu/e0e1
  Replies (4) Good night (3157) Bad night (974)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass

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  (541): definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass http://tfl.nu/ukpo
  Replies (6) Good night (1677) Bad night (833)
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  (845): View more from New York

  This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.

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  (845): This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way. http://tfl.nu/f18r
  Replies (3) Good night (1370) Bad night (821)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?

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  (224): Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right? http://tfl.nu/9x3c
  Replies (1) Good night (1208) Bad night (518)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?

  (1+44): View more from

  It's a podium place so yeah...

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  (+44): Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right? (1+44): It's a podium place so yeah... http://tfl.nu/cezg
  Replies (8) Good night (1422) Bad night (494)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.

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  (734): I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/xnhl
  Replies (5) Good night (372) Bad night (717)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too

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  (731): Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too http://tfl.nu/4c0u
  Replies (8) Good night (1425) Bad night (659)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box

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  (423): Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box http://tfl.nu/1krj
  Replies (6) Good night (555) Bad night (369)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....

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  (586): So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up.... http://tfl.nu/j4oi
  Replies (3) Good night (715) Bad night (336)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."

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  (303): My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them." http://tfl.nu/u6im
  Replies (2) Good night (996) Bad night (280)

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