Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.

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(403): She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl. http://tfl.nu/n4eu

Replies (6) Good night (3796) Bad night (919)
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(702): View more from Nevada

It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...

(775): View more from Nevada

yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

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(702): It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me... (775): yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift. http://tfl.nu/mwdt

Replies (25) Good night (5604) Bad night (931)
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(559): View more from California

You realize it's finals week?

(408): View more from California

Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.

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(559): You realize it's finals week? (408): Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first. http://tfl.nu/rjos

Replies (19) Good night (6401) Bad night (991)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already

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(724): I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already http://tfl.nu/y51h

Replies (10) Good night (2608) Bad night (2919)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

He just wants an even tan

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(860): I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked. (1-860): He just wants an even tan http://tfl.nu/akk9

Replies (18) Good night (4238) Bad night (1193)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.

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(262): Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears. http://tfl.nu/gqzu

Replies (8) Good night (2062) Bad night (4087)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%

(405): View more from Oklahoma

And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.

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(405): Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10% (405): And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar. http://tfl.nu/4y72

Replies (10) Good night (2382) Bad night (725)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.

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(412): There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever. http://tfl.nu/yvee

Replies (12) Good night (3191) Bad night (859)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.

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(203): I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom. http://tfl.nu/gcg6

Replies (4) Good night (816) Bad night (1101)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.

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(678): I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex. http://tfl.nu/mbc3

Replies (2) Good night (903) Bad night (461)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs

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(610): No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her. (1-610): That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs http://tfl.nu/zsmx

Replies (5) Good night (1808) Bad night (505)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.

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(610): SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE. http://tfl.nu/afff

Replies (4) Good night (1690) Bad night (1062)
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(512): View more from Texas

During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?

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(512): During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados? http://tfl.nu/e60x

Replies (5) Good night (756) Bad night (348)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.

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(412): he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came. http://tfl.nu/cv7v

Replies (6) Good night (348) Bad night (729)
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(953): View more from

Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.

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(953): Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man. http://tfl.nu/f9iu

Replies (0) Good night (582) Bad night (125)

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