Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.

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  (810): Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time. http://tfl.nu/rbpy
  Replies (6) Good night (1081) Bad night (2193)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.

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  (+27): I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal. http://tfl.nu/i549
  Replies (98) Good night (1058) Bad night (4071)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?

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  (218): The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it? http://tfl.nu/eoc0
  Replies (3) Good night (2831) Bad night (713)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.

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  (434): question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0m41
  Replies (44) Good night (1149) Bad night (5749)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.

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  (201): He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college. http://tfl.nu/379h
  Replies (44) Good night (4254) Bad night (777)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal

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  (412): i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal http://tfl.nu/nm22
  Replies (64) Good night (1490) Bad night (6024)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.

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  (215): I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days. http://tfl.nu/h5el
  Replies (25) Good night (4430) Bad night (1333)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?

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  (740): I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign? http://tfl.nu/ahav
  Replies (8) Good night (3796) Bad night (992)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.

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  (503): You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks. (503): Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks. http://tfl.nu/twir
  Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (410)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan

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  (218): I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan http://tfl.nu/xroh
  Replies (11) Good night (2051) Bad night (669)
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  (858): View more from California

  CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!

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  (858): CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples! http://tfl.nu/mwbo
  Replies (7) Good night (1302) Bad night (482)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.

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  (615): All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me. http://tfl.nu/gv89
  Replies (2) Good night (890) Bad night (424)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??

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  (817): Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do?? http://tfl.nu/z8vo
  Replies (2) Good night (350) Bad night (587)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?

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  (212): Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking? http://tfl.nu/s8rr
  Replies (12) Good night (1715) Bad night (595)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.

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  (613): After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot. http://tfl.nu/zug5
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (308)

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