I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
