i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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