dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
