i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
