Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
