And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
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I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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