its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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