Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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