I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
