I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
