if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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