Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
