I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
