Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
