South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
