They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
