her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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