Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
