I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
