You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize