like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Of course I have a pirate flag
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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