Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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