i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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