At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
