I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize