So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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