Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I am available for nakedness
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
