i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
two words: eviction party
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
