just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
