I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Boobs speak an international language.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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