guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
