If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
