what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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