thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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