i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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