if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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