i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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