Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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