Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Walk of Shame today included voting.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
