So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
