So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
