Can i not drive my cunt home
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
