cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
